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Home  Fun Stuff Animal Jokes
Here you will find a collection of animal
jokes, to tease your friend's mind. Guarantee to put a smile on
their faces.
How did the kangaroo convict escape?
He jumped
bail.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
What years do kangaroos like best?
Leap years!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?
A jumprope!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Holes all over Australia.
What's gray and has a trunk?
A mouse going on vacation!
What type of animal needs oil?
A mouse, because it squeaks!
What do you get when you cross an kangaroo with a sheep?
A woolley jumper.
Why didn't the elephant get rich?
He was willing to
work for peanuts.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What do lions call antelopes?
Fast food.
What animal talks the most?
A yak!
Why do rhinos have so many wrinkles?
Because they are hard to iron!
What animal never needs a haircut?
A bald eagle.
What did the bat say to his Valentine?
I love hanging around you.
Why didn't the cheetah go on vacation?
Because it couldn't find the right spot!
Why do leopards never escape from the zoo?
Because they’re always spotted.
Why did the leopard go to a
cleaner?
To get its spots removed!
Why wouldn't the leopard take a bath?
He didn't want to get spotlessly clean.
What’s yellow and black with red spots?
A leopard with measles.
Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What did the traffic light say to the zebra crossing?
Don’t look now, I’m changing.
Why do zebras like old movies?
Because they're in black and white!
What goes black, white, black, white?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
Why didn't the elephant get rich?
He was willing to
work for peanuts.
Why was the little elephant six hours late for dinner?
He had to wash behind his ears before coming to the table.
Why do elephants have short tails?
Because they haven't got long memories.
Why did the polar bear go to the South Pole?
To visit Aunt Artica!
What animals has two humps and is found at the North Pole?
A lost camel.
What does a camel use to become invisible?
Camel-flage.
How long can a camel go
without water?
Until it gets thirsty.
What
kind of music do monkeys like?
Swing!
What’s crocrodile’s favourite games?
Snap.
What do you cook a crocodile in?
A croc-pot!
Why did the crocodile take the stairs?
It missed the ele-gator!
What lion never moves?
A dandelion
What do you call a well-dressed lion?
A dandy lion
What runs around forests making other animals yawn?
A wild bore.
What’s the biggest species of mouse in the world?
The hippopotumouse.
What’s green and slimy and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What keys are furry?
Monkeys.
What
kind of music do monkeys like?
Swing!
What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A giraffic jam.
What do giraffes have that no other animal has?
Baby giraffes!
What is worse than a giraffe with a sore neck?
A caterpillar with tired feet!
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
A very tall toothbrush!
Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
To a crow bar.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A walkie-talkie.
What do you call a formal dance for ducks?
A fowl ball.
What kind of ducks rob banks?
Safe quackers.
Why did the duck go ring-ring?
He got a phone bill.
Why was the duck unhappy?
His bill was in the mail.
What kind of weather excites a pet duck?
Fowl weather, of course!
Where do lions go when they lose their tails?
To the retail store.
What kind of dog tells time?
A watch dog.
When do squirrels chase people?
When
they think they're nuts!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station!
How do turtles talk to each other?
By using shell phones!
What is a reptile's favorite movie?
The Lizard of Oz!
What do skunks do when they get angry?
They
raise a stink.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked in?
Odor
in the court.
Why do geese make lousy drivers?
All they do is honk.
What did the mole publisher print?
An underground
newspaper.
When do squirrels chase people?
When
they think they're nuts!
What animals use nutcrackers?
Toothless squirrels.
What did the kookaburra say to the emu?
Peck on someone your own size.
Which bird does construction work?
The crane.
Which birds work underground?
Noisy Miner
What kind of bird digs for coal?
A mynah!
Where can birds play professional football?
In the mynah leagues!
How can you tell that birds like shopping at sales?
They're always saying "cheep-cheep"
What kind of fish can you find in a birdcage?
A Murray perch!
Which vacation spot will really make your pet bird sing for joy?
The
Canary Islands!
What is the loudest pet?
The trum-pet!
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